i just google imaged poop.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
