my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
