my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
