I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
