My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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