Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize