we made out on top of his cat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
