So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
