whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
