Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
