Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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