seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
