Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My hand turned me down
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
