I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She's the barista slut.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
