I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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