Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets

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(970): View more from Colorado

You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.

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(616): View more from Michigan

it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.

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(773): View more from Illinois

not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i can only hope to be on your level one day.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery

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