Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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(812): View more from Indiana

my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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(205): View more from Alabama

The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.

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(425): View more from Washington

all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.

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(714): View more from California

The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!

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(830): View more from Texas

"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"

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