i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.