Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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  (417): You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!" http://tfl.nu/8q6j
  Replies (6) Good night (2749) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it

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  (843): just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it http://tfl.nu/dhcg
  Replies (42) Good night (5192) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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  (903): Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe http://tfl.nu/shgh
  Replies (8) Good night (3961) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?

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  (803): Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything? http://tfl.nu/hmy2
  Replies (7) Good night (954) Bad night (4550)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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  (727): He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/zb23
  Replies (22) Good night (1041) Bad night (2701)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am

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  (719): Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am http://tfl.nu/os55
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (1802)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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  (412): You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay http://tfl.nu/y710
  Replies (15) Good night (4201) Bad night (1988)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

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  (616): She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross http://tfl.nu/ueo2
  Replies (18) Good night (1049) Bad night (2943)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...

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  (407): Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background... http://tfl.nu/gjfo
  Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The air was thick with penises

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  (805): The air was thick with penises http://tfl.nu/1iew
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
  Replies (7) Good night (793) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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  (330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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  (518): There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina." http://tfl.nu/mvmf
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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  (650): i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era http://tfl.nu/hvky
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.

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  (+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up. http://tfl.nu/t0cr
  Replies (1) Good night (1726) Bad night (323)

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