we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
