Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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