i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
birth control should be required to get into college
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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