dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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