yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
