My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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