I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
