I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize