I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
