I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
