and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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