Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He better not be in your backpack
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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