Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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