id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
