OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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