Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
