grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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