Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
