I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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