Can Purell be used as lube?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
