connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
