And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
