there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
