The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
