I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They have beer where we have blood.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize