new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
