If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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