I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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