Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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