i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
