just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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