respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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