Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
