Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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