I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
