Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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