please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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